Luke 24:38

"Why are you frightened?" he asked. "Why are your hearts filled with doubt?" Luke 24:38

In the quiet of my mind, I ask myself, "Am I frightened?" Reluctantly, I answer, "Oh yes". Through God's eyes, I see myself running from fear in many areas of my life. I fear that my kids will get hurt or sick, so I disinfect, clean, and I worry, trying to keep the germy stuff out of their mouths, get the shots, pray, pray, pray. I'm afraid that I'll get sick and not feel like caring for them. I'm afraid something will happen to my sweet husband for whom I prayed and waited for what seemed like SO Long, so I pray, and I worry, I make him wear a bike helmet, encourage him to take care of himself, and I hope that my world stays in balance. In that quiet place, Jesus asks me "Why are you frightened, Misty?" and I just shrug. I look in His eyes and see His love for me. I see how I'm often running like a scared child in exactly the wrong direction. I have filled my heart up with things. Things that are supposed to make me feel better, and do for a while, until it's difficult to determine where the empty feeling is coming from.

So the next question, "Why is your heart filled with doubt, Misty?" Is it? Is my heart really filled with doubt? But Lord, I see how You have provided for me in so many ways. You brought me a husband, so perfect for me. I trusted You to heal my son and You did. I trusted you to protect my little girl from harm and you have. I pray for my friends. I pray for direction. I pray for Your perspective. Is my heart really filled with doubt? Oh Lord, I can see that if I had more faith and less doubt, I would have Your peace.

Peace. "Peace be to you." Luke 24:36. When Jesus was talking to his disciples about peace and fears and doubts, He had just risen from DEATH. He was dead and then He arose. And then He came to talk to His disciples who obviously had serious doubts that He would do what He said He would do, even though they spent every day under His teaching. Every day looking into His eyes. Jesus knew all of those doubts and fears and He still loved them just as much. His response was, "Peace to you." He says, "Peace to you, Misty." The Amplified Bible has an amazing definition of peace. It says peace is FREEDOM from all the distresses that are experienced as a result of sin. Until Jesus died on the cross, that freedom was not possible. But at this moment, Jesus' peace IS possible. We can have peace from all the distresses experienced as a result of sin.

This brings me back to my doubts. Why is my heart filled with doubt? I have doubts because sin keeps me from having that intimate, snuggle-up-close relationship with my heavenly Father. Sin causes me distress. My messed-up thinking that I have to take care of my family all on my own is sin. My fears that I won't be able to handle life if I don't have all my precious loved ones grasped tightly in my arms are sin. My thinking that eating chocolate will calm my nerves and make me feel refreshed after a stressful day is not accurate AND it's sinful. These sins cause the distress that robs me of the PEACE my Jesus has for me.

Oh, Lord. I need You. I want to snuggle up close and find my protection in the shadow of Your wings. Help me let go of my sins and know Your blessed peace that is beyond all my understanding.

Dove's Nest

Psalm 107:35 

"[God] turns a desert into pools of water, a parched land into springs of water."

I'm praying that wherever you've felt your life to be a desert, God would flood your life with pools of His fresh, clean pure water. Wherever you've had parched land, I pray that you would experience God's satisfying, everlasting springs of provision, health, and restoration that only His water can bring. May you know God's forgiveness and cleansing and restorative power in your life and that of your family's life.

#yestoGod.

Our tiny son was born 3 months early on the last day of January this year. He came without warning,and our lives were turned upside down as we wrapped our mind around the kind of care he would need before he would be able to come home. We wondered many times that first week whether he would come home at all. But then, God gave us this incredible peace about our little boy. Those three months in the hospital were very tough, but he's home now and doing really well. We have lots and lots of doctor visits for follow-ups, but no major health issues . . . that is until yesterday. We learned that he is mostly likely severely to profoundly hearing impaired. For six months, he most likely hasn't heard anything we've said. The fact that he's stuck inside a little body with no hearing just breaks my heart. As I think about what we need to do, all the changes that we'll face, and the decisions, I feel overwhelmed. As I think about what he will face throughout his life . . . who he'll marry, his children, his job, I am mortified. I've spent so much time crying about this over the last day and a half.

Yesterday, right after the diagnosis, I felt God whisper to my heart, "I will use this for My glory." That brought peace, but fear keeps inching back in. I tell myself that we're so blessed to even have him here, that this is just a minor set-back, but the fear suffocates. I meditate on 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of courage, love and a sound mind."

Then yesterday, as I was doing dishes, thinking about my little one, God spoke to me again. He said, "I want you to thank Me for this." Immediately, my gut lurched and tears poured down my face. Thank Him for this? A very difficult life for my son? But I knew I had to. It would be my "sacrifice of praise." There were other times God asked me to make a sacrifice of praise, times during my son's hospital stay. Each time, I did. Not knowing what the outcome would be. Now, here I am again. The outcome is unclear, and I may not personally ever know how difficult this way of life is for my son, but I did it. With my 2 year old daughter on my lap, I knelt, laid hands on my tiny son, and said, with tears streaming down my face, "Lord, I thank you for my son's deafness. I trust that You will use if for Your glory."

PalmsUp, I wait to see how God will provide for my baby boy. I know He will. He blesses us every time we say YES to God.