"Why are you frightened?" he asked. "Why are your hearts filled with doubt?" Luke 24:38
In the quiet of my mind, I ask myself, "Am I frightened?" Reluctantly, I answer, "Oh yes". Through God's eyes, I see myself running from fear in many areas of my life. I fear that my kids will get hurt or sick, so I disinfect, clean, and I worry, trying to keep the germy stuff out of their mouths, get the shots, pray, pray, pray. I'm afraid that I'll get sick and not feel like caring for them. I'm afraid something will happen to my sweet husband for whom I prayed and waited for what seemed like SO Long, so I pray, and I worry, I make him wear a bike helmet, encourage him to take care of himself, and I hope that my world stays in balance. In that quiet place, Jesus asks me "Why are you frightened, Misty?" and I just shrug. I look in His eyes and see His love for me. I see how I'm often running like a scared child in exactly the wrong direction. I have filled my heart up with things. Things that are supposed to make me feel better, and do for a while, until it's difficult to determine where the empty feeling is coming from.
So the next question, "Why is your heart filled with doubt, Misty?" Is it? Is my heart really filled with doubt? But Lord, I see how You have provided for me in so many ways. You brought me a husband, so perfect for me. I trusted You to heal my son and You did. I trusted you to protect my little girl from harm and you have. I pray for my friends. I pray for direction. I pray for Your perspective. Is my heart really filled with doubt? Oh Lord, I can see that if I had more faith and less doubt, I would have Your peace.
Peace. "Peace be to you." Luke 24:36. When Jesus was talking to his disciples about peace and fears and doubts, He had just risen from DEATH. He was dead and then He arose. And then He came to talk to His disciples who obviously had serious doubts that He would do what He said He would do, even though they spent every day under His teaching. Every day looking into His eyes. Jesus knew all of those doubts and fears and He still loved them just as much. His response was, "Peace to you." He says, "Peace to you, Misty." The Amplified Bible has an amazing definition of peace. It says peace is FREEDOM from all the distresses that are experienced as a result of sin. Until Jesus died on the cross, that freedom was not possible. But at this moment, Jesus' peace IS possible. We can have peace from all the distresses experienced as a result of sin.
This brings me back to my doubts. Why is my heart filled with doubt? I have doubts because sin keeps me from having that intimate, snuggle-up-close relationship with my heavenly Father. Sin causes me distress. My messed-up thinking that I have to take care of my family all on my own is sin. My fears that I won't be able to handle life if I don't have all my precious loved ones grasped tightly in my arms are sin. My thinking that eating chocolate will calm my nerves and make me feel refreshed after a stressful day is not accurate AND it's sinful. These sins cause the distress that robs me of the PEACE my Jesus has for me.
Oh, Lord. I need You. I want to snuggle up close and find my protection in the shadow of Your wings. Help me let go of my sins and know Your blessed peace that is beyond all my understanding.